“When you say that you want to find love, how serious are you?… In love, the people who can’t say ‘no’ to the wrong thing have a really hard time achieving their goal of finding the kind of sustaining relationship that they’ve been looking for.” ~ Mathew Hussey

To Find Love

​​As human beings we are wired for love. We want to find love. We want to love and be loved. And even though love is what we all long and thirst for, for some strange reason, the majority of us end up heartbroken, alone, or worse… in relationships that are anything but healthy, happy, fulfilling and loving.

Without a clear vision of how we would want our lives to look – once we find love, and disconnected from our own hearts and love for self, we settle for way less than we are worth and we give ourselves and our hearts to whoever comes along.

You Say You Want to Find Love, but How Serious Are You?

“When I say ‘no’ to something that may represent something exciting and fun in front of me, but will take up my energy, take up space in my life, will take up focus and will probably leave me heartbroken or hurt at the end of it and feeling perhaps resentful that I ever allowed it to take up so much of my space. When we say ‘no’ to that thing we have to stop seeing it as just depriving ourselves. Instead we have to start seeing it as saying ‘yes’ to our longer-term goals… to something much much more important in our lives. “ ~ Mathew Hussey

When you say ‘no’ to something or someone that may represent something exciting and fun in front of you, but will take up your energy, take up space in your life, will take up focus and will probably leave us heartbroken or hurt at the end of it, you are not depriving yourself.

No!

When you say ‘no’ to something that is only meant to take you nowhere – good, kind, noble, or loving – you are saying ‘yes’ to something far greater and much more important in your life. You are saying ‘yes’ to you, ‘yes’ to your long-term goals and ‘yes’ to love.

“In order to do that”, Mathew Hussey advised us, “we are going to have to get comfortable in ways that we may be avoided being comfortable… I am going to do what I have been most afraid of, which is to say ‘no’ even when something better hasn’t come along, even when there’s just a space in my life.

I have watched people run out the clock on their lives by continuing to entertain the short term fix over what is really they are looking for long-term. 

An added BONUS of saying ‘NO’ to the things that don’t really serve us is that we really build confidence in ourselves. Because it’s a way of saying: I am important. My goals are important. Making myself happy long-term is important. And is more important than even giving myself a hit of something that I really want short term.”

In order to do that, you are going to have to get comfortable in ways that you may be avoided being comfortable… Not to deprive and hurt yourself, but to create the necessary space and peace for you to find love so that you can truly love and be loved.

*What about you? Do you want to find love? And if so, how serious are you about finding love?

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