So many of us were raised to believe that there is only one way of living our lives, and somehow, we know that way, and if anybody dares to live differently, we will make sure that they know how wrong they are, and we will do our best to “help” them. Who is it exactly that you are trying to help? Is it them or is it just you?
You may not realize it but the things you are doing, your good intentions are not really that good, for you don’t really care so much about their happiness as much as you do about your own. When you work with them on making sure that they know how “wrong” they are, making sure that they know how, the things they are doing and the way they are living their lives is not right, whether you realize it or not, you do it for yourself and not to “help” them.
Do Judgements Prevent You from Seeing the Good in Others?
You are so comfortable with having things go your way, with having reality be in a certain way, that, when you encounter a situation or a person that is acting differently, you immediately want to adjust it to your own reality, instead of you allowing it to be the way it is, without labeling it, without resisting it and without trying to change it.
There are no good or bad situations, right or wrong, there are no bad or good behaviors, kind or not so kind… Things are just the way they are, and the moment we label them as being one or another, we risk causing a great deal of stress, for us and for the many people around us. Energy is contagious, and like a virus, it will duplicate and spread, whether you are aware of it or not.
So why not allow people, events, situations, etc. to just be the way they are? Why not give it a try and see how will that make you feel? Remember that, just like Wayne Dyer said it,
“Judgements will only prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.”
~love, Luminita💫
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Luminita D. Saviuc
Luminita is the Founder and Editor in Chief of PurposeFairy.com and also the author of 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy: An Inspiring Guide to Discovering Effortless Joy. For more details check out the 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Book Page.
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5 Comments
M L
at 12:15 am
I believe perception plays a key part in this area. In my experience in educating around the world, I have come to the conclusion. No matter where you are, people need to feel valued and certainly not judged. I also believe social media has increased the amount of diversity in opinion, therefore a lot the world is in a state of transition and adjustment. Please get back to us all, while the system reboots… kinda thing)
sibontot
at 4:55 am
I agree, however, one must remember about limitations. We do wot we have to do. If the person continues to harm us or to do his/her “bad” habit, it is time for us to let go and move on. At least that’s based on my experiences, after a while, I almost ended up losing my energy and the act of telling someone was quite draining. So I chose to focus on wot’s good in my life and spread he good energy to the the people who has similar/same wavelength as me 🙂
Dennis
at 5:28 am
Everything has a fine line in between. It’s personal belief and perception that determines your thinking. Let’s not let belief determine us, let us determine our belief.
C
at 4:57 am
“There are no good or bad situations, right or wrong there are no bad or good behaviors…”
This sentence, along with most of this post, is entirely too simplistic. There are bad situations, bad behaviors, and there is such a thing as “wrong.” Killing, war, rape, other forms of abuse, disrespectful language… There are instances where we do have a RIGHT to tell people when they are doing wrong and to help them see how their behaviors are plain old wrong. Furthermore, one’s happiness is important and sometimes that happiness does depend on others actions being healthy and thoughtful.
I just think that we have a right to tell someone to change his/her actions if he/she is being harmful to himself and others that are involved in the situation, including ourselves. It is by no means selfish. We are connected in this world and have an impact on other human beings.
Cheryl Greninger
at 8:45 pm
I use The Work by Byron Katie to help me see my part in judgements. It really works!