Brené Brown

I have learned so many beautiful and life changing lessons from reading Brené Brown’s books and from watching many of her inspiring and empowering videos. And today I would like to share with you 21 of these life changing lessons trusting that they will benefit you as much as they benefited, and are still benefiting me. 

21 Life-Changing Lessons to Learn from Brené Brown

1. What other people think of you is none of your business.

“I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter. To be on that list, you have to love me for my strengths and struggles.” ~ Brené Brown

“What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think – or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?”

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

2. Open yourself up only to those people who have earned the right to hear your story.

“If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm.” ~ Brené Brown

3. If you trade your authenticity for safety, you will be very unhappy.

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” ~ Brené Brown

“If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.”

4. You are worthy of love and belonging.

“Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.” ~ Brené Brown

“When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible.”

“You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.”

“Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough.”

5. We are all different yet we are all the same.

“As unique as we all are, an awful lot of us want the same things. We want to shake up our current less-than-fulfilling lives. We want to be happier, more loving, forgiving and connected with the people around us.” 

6. Happiness is right in front of you.

“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”

“Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect.”

7. Embracing your vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love, belonging and joy.

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ~  Brené Brown

“We are sick and tired of being sick and tired.. Definition of courage: Tell your story with all your heart.”

“You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story & hustle for your worthiness.”

“Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicits shame, and so they’re afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak.” ~  Brené Brown

“Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous.”

“Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It’s tough to do that when we’re terrified about what people might see or think.”

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”

“Through my research, I found that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It’s the magic sauce.”

“Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow – that’s vulnerability.”

8. Good marriages are when you can go home and know that your vulnerability will be honored as courage, not as weakness.

“The best marriages are the ones where we can go out in the world and really put ourselves out there. A lot of times we’ll fail, and sometimes we’ll pull it off. But good marriages are when you can go home and know that your vulnerability will be honored as courage, and that you’ll find support.” ~  Brené Brown

9. Be the adult you want your children to be.

“First and foremost, we need to be the adults we want our children to be. We should watch our own gossiping and anger. We should model the kindness we want to see.”

“We have to be women we want our daughters to be.”

“We cannot give our children what we don’t have.” ~  Brené Brown

10. The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it.

“The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows.”

11. Perfectionism it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.

“Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.” ~  Brené Brown

“Healthy striving is self-focused: “How can I improve?” Perfectionism is other-focused: “What will they think?”

“Why, when we know that there’s no such thing as perfect, do most of us spend an incredible amount of time and energy trying to be everything to everyone? Is it that we really admire perfection? No – the truth is that we are actually drawn to people who are real and down-to-earth. We love authenticity and we know that life is messy and imperfect.”

12. Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.

“The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.” ~  Brené Brown

13. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow.

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”

14. When you numb the painful emotions, you numb the positive emotions as well.

“We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” ~  Brené Brown

15. Faith is a place of mystery.

“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.”

16. Nostalgia is a dangerous form of comparison.

“Nostalgia is also a dangerous form of comparison. Think about how often we compare our lives to a memory that nostalgia has so completely edited that it never really existed.”

17. You might have 1 million friends on Facebook but that doesn’t mean that those people are really your friend.

“Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky.” ~ Brené Brown

18. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning, and purpose to our lives.

“Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning and purpose to our lives.” ~ Brené Brown

19. There is no innovation and creativity without failure.

“There is no innovation and creativity without failure. Period.” ~ Brené Brown

“Talk about your failures without apologizing.”

20. We judge others because we judge ourselves.

“We judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we’re doing.” ~ Brené Brown

21. The opposite of scarcity is not abundance. It’s enough. I’m enough.

“For me, the opposite of scarcity is not abundance. It’s enough. I’m enough. My kids are enough.”

What is your favorite quote from Brené Brown? What is one lesson you have learned from this incredible woman? You can share your comment in the comment section below 🙂

~love, Luminita💫

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