Everyday we are berated with an influx of announcements telling us to ‘show yourself love’, ‘prioritize our self-care,’ and ‘take some me time.’ Bubble baths, wine nights, sleeping in, and treat yourself meals are not only applauded, but encouraged. 

The show yourself love culture that we live in, has created a message that has led us astray from what self-love really is. To show yourself love is not all bubble baths, massages, and nights in. And it is certainly not an excuse to justify bad behaviors. 

To show yourself love is about intentional practice. Practice that is made up of behaviors that take work. 

We’ve wandered so far away from this concept that many people don’t understand what true self-love even looks like. 

So here are six ways that you can practice to show yourself love.

Show Yourself Love: 6 Ways to Express Authentic Self-Love

1. Set Clear Boundaries.

Create intentional guidelines for yourself, and honor them when a situation starts to push the limits. Honoring your boundaries can be difficult, but each time you do, you affirm to yourself that you are worthy of being put first. 

2. Practice Integrity Towards Yourself.

Honor your commits to yourself in the same way you honor your commitments to a friend. Many of us bend over backwards to make sure that we fulfill our promises to others, but when it comes to ourselves we tend to justify our excuses. 

“How would your life be different if…You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the day…You stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others”~ Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

3. Accept Your Trauma Without Letting It Define You.

Your past, and current, experiences have shaped you and are an impactful part of your life, but they are not everything.

Let the trauma you have faced shape you. Acknowledge it. Accept it. And then choose how you would like to move on from it.

4. Set Aside Time for Self-Reflection.

True self-reflection requires you to spend time with the messy parts of yourself, the ones that we oftentimes would rather ignore. By going towards the things that feel difficult we can start to bring awareness to them, and move on in a direction that fulfills us, rather than one that keeps us stuck, repeating our past. 

5. Question Your Patterns, Habits, and Behaviors.

Rather than falling victim to your procrastination, your people pleasing, or your perfectionism, question them. Figure out where they are coming from and how they are serving you.

Decide if you like that answer. And if not, take the steps to start to change them.

6. Be Aware of the Energy You Bring to Different Situations.

We bring energy to every situation we experience, and that energy affects our enjoyment and that of those around us. When we are aware of the energy we are bringing, we have the ability to change it, and therefore change our whole experience. Start to analyze the energy that you bring to different situations, and if it doesn’t serve you, choose to bring a new energy the next time around. 

To show yourself love isn’t about the glamorous, rose-colored picture we have learned it to be. Self-Love is hard. And oftentimes practicing it goes unnoticed by others, and yourself. So why would you ever want to put the work in to change it?

Because by showing yourself love, and committing to these practices, you start to set a foundation for yourself. And that foundation opens doors. It gives you the opportunity to start living a life where you feel content exactly where you are, clear in what else you want, and unshakable confidence that you will get there. And this feeling is what starts allowing you to expand your life.

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