Learning to Be Honest with Yourself

“Positive feelings come from being honest about yourself and accepting your personality, and physical characteristics, warts and all; and, from belonging to a family that accepts you without question.” ~ Willard Scott

Why is it so difficult for us to be honest about our own feelings?

How does one become mindful and start honoring his/her own feelings?

Learning to Be Honest with Yourself

There are 3 simple steps we could take:

1. Be okay with the fact that people may be upset with you

They will get over it. Many times we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, which is why we are dishonest with them. If you really want to get to a place where you put your desires and needs first, you will have to start saying, ‘no’.

You will have to face the truth. If someone asks you to go to the movies, and you feel like you need to rest: tell them! What is the worst that could happen? Yes, they may be disappointed but people will respect your honesty. They will also be able to reschedule with you. Honesty enhances relationships, not end them.

I’ve found that as long as you’re fundamentally good – as long as you’re not being bad to people – people give you a lot of room to be yourself because being yourself is being honest. And that’s what people want to see. ~Andrew Mason

2. Make honesty a priority and realize this journey may take some time

If you decide today that you are going to start being honest with yourself – stick with it. Create daily affirmations such as,

I am an honest and authentic person and I choose to stay this way.

Affirmations are great because they get ingrained into your subconscious and we know that whatever we think, we become.

Making honesty a priority will eventually make honesty a habit. It will not be this abracadabra change, but it will happen. You will be tested, please believe, but if you get over the initial fear of a person’s reaction you will see it’s not that bad. Soon, people will identify you like the bold and bodacious person they know they can easily talk and relate to.

3. Contemplate your actions

I know this sounds too simple, but if we reflect on our words and actions more often, we will make wiser decisions. When you feel the need to lie stop and figure out why you want to do it. Is it fear of someone knowing the real you? Is it your way of not disappointing someone? Is it your way of self-denial?

The intellect is our most precious possession and contemplation our most highest and most continuous activity. ~Aristotle

We all have different reasons for not being true to ourselves, but it always goes back to fear. Learn to face your fears. Think about the consequences of not being honest with a person you care about it and you will realize it is just not worth it.

Are you up for the honesty challenge? Let me know how it is going for you by commenting below:)


Ebony English

Ebony English is a writer and educator based out of the Midwest. She studied at Purdue University and Mercer University. Ebony’s work can be found on a variety of online publications. Her recent endeavors include finishing up her first book, a collection of poems and essays.

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