Is It Time To Prune Your Family Tree?

“Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. We make discoveries about ourselves.” Gail Lumet Buckley

Once upon a time, there was a man and a woman.  The man and woman joined their family “trees” and made new branches called “babies”. The two family branches become one.  The new branches begin to grow.  Love nourished the tree.

The seasons went by quickly.  The new branches of the tree grew strong, but the trunk of the tree began to weaken.  The leaves would not grow back.  It felt sad.

The family tree was not receiving the nourishment of “love” it needed.  The trunk and leaves would not grow strong.  The mother and the father trees that became one tree felt sick inside.  The sickness did not mean the tree would die.  It did mean the tree needed to be pruned with love.

Love feels like sunshine.  It is kind, gentle and warm.  It does not use angry words or actions to harm.  It uses light and warmth to create growth.  It takes away the hurt. When the family tree is not growing new leaves, it is time to re-plant it.  If the trunk is bending with sadness it is time to prune.  Pruning a tree means saying goodbye to the parts that are no longer growing.

Once the tree is pruned it has a new shape.  The family tree looks completely different.  The new shape of the family tree can feel strange at first.  It takes a few seasons for the new roots to get the nourishment it needs.

When the family tree is pruned with love and compassion the new shape of the tree reveals secret surprises.  The surprises feel happy.  The surprises look like a garden.  The surprise of a flower bloom reveals its beauty. A garden is made up of many different types of trees, bushes, flowers, and insects.  A healthy garden needs to be weeded and nourished with the sunshine.

Does your family look like a garden?

What type of tree or flower would you be?

“The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.”  Thomas Jefferson

Trees and gardens are very important for our world.  Without the trees “people”, the families that make of the different trees and gardens, the earth would be lonely. We can create healthy people with healthy family shapes by choosing to nourish ourselves with love. Love feels like sunshine. It takes courage to change shape.  It takes strength to choose a new environment that best supports growth. In loving support of your healthiest garden possible with lots of sunshine…

This article was written by Monica Macha


Luminita D. Saviuc

Luminita is the Founder and Editor in Chief of and also the author of 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy: An Inspiring Guide to Discovering Effortless Joy. For more details check out the 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Book Page.

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  • Maija

    at 6:14 pm

    I am completely challenged by my family and the profound negetivity and pessimism embraced overall. I recently moved home at 39 after having lived on my own mostly since I was 18. I feel sick inside the longer I am around my family…I don’t feel supported, everyone is always tired, we cannot agree and love one another for who we are. I am finding myself using stronger and more hateful words. My tree needs dramatic pruning…but it takes time and energy. How do I thrive in the meantime?

  • Name (required)

    at 5:09 am

    my family tree pruned me… so i went away and started a new tree far away from the old one. Now it doesn’t matter that i’m not rich enough or good enough. My tree has grown and bloomed with out the branches that rejected me.

  • Sarah Morales

    at 10:06 pm

    I’m afraid if I trimmed my tree there would be nothing but the trunk left, so we just deal with things one day at a time and pray that God will nourish each branch one day at a time. But I love the message.

  • Freedom Falcon

    at 2:19 pm

    My family tree was posioned from the inside with emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. So I became a seed and floated away from the posioned tree and planted my roots in Gods faith, love and mercy. Today I fight for my ability to function, because new memories have resurfaced unannounced. I am doing so much better with the help of God, family, and professionals.

  • Anne Heyes

    at 6:07 pm

    I believe that most families are disfunctional. There is something going on behind every door……

  • Alicia Alvarado

    at 4:50 pm

    It is a lovely thought and story. keep it coming!!! God’s blessings to you!!

  • Lynn Goucher

    at 12:29 pm

    Great article but I’m one step ahead of ya!! My family tree is so dysfunctional I had to trim it with a chainsaw!! LOL!!

  • Kathleen Richardson

    at 11:54 am

    What a lovely, sensible way to look at relationships.

    Keep writing…


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