Life throws us all a challenge or two along the way. Some of these challenges can easily upset our day, disturb our rhythm and generally mess with our mojo. In reaction, we can lose our cool. At times, we can lose it pretty spectacularly. We are only human after all. However, one or a combination of the below can help us all keep a lid on our cool.

Here are 22 Ways to Keep Your Cool:

1. Get Some Perspective

Life is short. Too short to be losing our cool all the time. Better to stay calm and take life for what it is. Take things in our stride. Keep your cool.

2. Identify the Internal Triggers

Oftentimes, if we do a little self-reflection we can identify internal temper triggers. What is it that happens internally that causes us to lose it? How can we work on this?

3. Identify the External Triggers

Some situations and people can make it difficult to stay calm around. Once identified, we can either come up with tactics that mean we avoid them completely or work on coping tactics to deal with them.

4. Count to 10

Or 20 or 50 or whatever works. Clichés become clichés for a reason.

5. Remember you’ll Regret Losing your Cool More Often than Not

If that’s the case what’s the point? Keep your cool.

6. Take a Walk

It’s stood the test of time as a stress reliever for a reason – it works.

7. Step Outside the Situation

Ever watched others losing their cool and chuckled at how ridiculous it can all look? Like an adult-sized toddler throwing a tantrum. Someone’s watching you thinking just that when you lose your head. It’s never pretty.

8. Take a Deep Breath (or Two or Three)

Feel the initial reaction of rising anger slowly slide away

9. Pause

Distance yourself from the inclination to just react.

10. Depersonalize the Situation

Feeling like the ‘victim’ of some wrong doing can make it hard to keep cool. If we depersonalize the situation we may see things a little differently.

11. Get Over Yourself!

Oftentimes a perceived dent to our ego is more to do with causing us to lose our cool than what has actually happened.

12. Picture Yourself as Someone Very Calm

How would Yoda or the Fonz deal with this situation? Not by throwing their toys out of the pram you can bet your light saber (or Diner jukebox)!

13. Focus on Something Else

Distraction tactics can work for us here if we’re quick to utilize them. Think of something that defuses the feelings of anger building. Happy memories and feelings, thinking of loved ones can all take the steam out of anger’s sails.

14. Control What You Can Control

If we focus on what is truly under our control, rather than worrying and getting angry about what isn’t, we are in a better place all around.

15. Put Expectations to One Side

We all have expectations of both ourselves and others around us. These expectations are not always realistic or fair and can become the cause of us losing our cool. Better to revise these and do our best to accept others for who they are.

16. Less Sprinting All the Way

There’s more to life than rushing through it and getting angry when things don’t run like clockwork. Keep your cool.

17. Forget Scoring Empty Victories

Crash, bang, center stage, puffing our chests out, taking credit, plotting and strategizing, beating the opposition, holding our hands aloft. Winning.

The language of success?

More likely the language of our times. Ironically it seems to lead many of us less to success and more to dissatisfaction, frustration, and stress.

There’s a lot more to a contented life than scoring hollow victories.

18. Thinking You’re Always Right

You’re not – trust me and save yourself much headache, heartache and temper losing.

19. Reduce Friction

Too much friction in our lives can lead to our fuses getting much shorter. We can concentrate on removing and reducing as much friction as possible and leave ourselves in the best place possible for living the good life.

20. Not Empathising with Others

This is related to a number of others on this list worthy of its own spot. If try to think about things from someone else’s perspective maybe we’ll be less likely to lose our own cool. This is of course especially important for those that we care about most.

21. Be Appreciative

There’s a well quoted Tony Robbins line “Turn your expectations into appreciation”

Part of us losing our cool involves our own expectations of how we want things to be. What if we accepted them for what they were and concentrated on being appreciative for all we have instead?

22. Remember, You Are Only Human

Truth be told, we all lose it occasionally. It’s part of being human. We can learn to turn the frequency down on how often our blood boils. We can find habits and tactics that help us retain some calm but none of us are perfect and that’s okay. Remember, we are only human after all.


Carl Phillips

Carl Phillips writes short books full of big ideas. He is also the proud owner of Frictionless Living which is focused on helping readers find and live their own version of a simpler, good life.

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  • Lucy mwai

    at 9:24 am

    Awesome tips on how too keep our cool…

  • Ramil

    at 3:13 am


    life is cool but we are making it hot , try to think about the blessings in every situation rather than the pain from it.


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