I’ve been working with self-love and learning about its power for some time now, and I’ve learned a few things.  Here they are:

1. Self-love isn’t what you think it is. 

The first thing I’ve learned is that the majority of people on the planet either have no concept of self-love and the benefits of allowing it (for various reasons — some religious and/or political), or do know and ‘sorta kinda’ make a bit more time for themselves, but all in all it’s rather half-hearted. 

If most people’s idea of self-love remains at just having a glass of wine while reading a good book in a bubble bath every now and again, we’re all in trouble.  Because if we don’t truly love ourselves, we don’t respect ourselves, and then neither does anyone else.   

2. All love begins with self-love.

Very often, we try to ‘fix’ ourselves, instead of starting with self-love. We work to quieten our ego, we E. F. T.  our negative feelings down to zero, we NLP the roots of our limiting beliefs away, we journal out our money blocks, we try to find our purpose, we try to think big in our visualizations, and we try to take action (once we’ve done whatever we can to raise our vibration and been inspired to, that is), massive action, and big leaps. Because then, when we’re fixed, we’ll be lovable enough for self-love, right?

When we practice self-love and live devoted to it, we provide a much-needed foundation for all of those other things to be supported by. Without that, working away at everything you perceive is wrong with you is like taking supplements without improving your diet, with about the same result.  Very little change is effected.

3.  Self-love before self-help, always. 

Self-love has incredible spillover effects and can bring about the most unexpected, seemingly unrelated changes (although, on reflection, not unrelated at all), in the rest of your life. I found that my mindset completely changed — for the better.  I wasn’t intending, when I connected with that deep inner willing of self-love during my meditations, to totally overhaul my mindset to one of abundance, strength, and power.  That I no longer needed to be constantly vigilant and aware of having better thoughts, because they happened easily and naturally. 

I would never have thought that my practice of self-love would lead to my business taking off because I was finally allowing myself to be seen and to share my message and my work. Nor did I ever have thought that dropping excess weight would happen effortlessly and quickly. 

4. Self-love is the basis for all good in our lives.

Why, with all this good we can bring into our lives, is self-love often seen as for the soft, the weak and the self-indulgent?  Because one of the most important things I’ve learned from self-love is that it takes someone strong to make a stand for themselves. It takes a person with the fortitude to make time to practice something that may not be seen as having any value by others. 

It takes a courageous person to allow their lives to change because of a feeling.  Self-love is not just some nice thing to do when you have a bit of spare time. Self-love is not for the weak. It’s a powerful sword that cuts through to our truth for the strong, brave, warriors among us, and it’s up to us to teach others how to wield theirs.

5. Self-love is something to stand for.  Perhaps the most important thing to stand for. 

So what can you do, to begin to bring more of this quite magical power into your life?  To become a sword wielding warrior of awesome? 

Start with you, of course! It’s so simple it’s easy to think it won’t do anything, but, just like a magic trick, you have to experience it to see the magic, not just know about it.  Take some time each day to focus on feeling love for you.  A guided meditation may help you if you’re new to this, but just five to ten minutes each day feeling love for you will work wonders.

We’ll all thank you for it, very soon.  


Mariska Anderson

Mariska Anderson is the main (only) source of trouble in her little company. There, she specializes in exploring peoples' minds, upgrading their identities from within, essentially - guiding them to allow themselves to be extraordinary, and get what they want. When she triumphantly drove home from her successful Ph.D. defense and realiZed she STILL didn't feel like she had become the woman she wanted to be, and STILL didn't feel like she had what she really wanted, Mariska knew there was something that needed to be done, and fast. So she did. Because when you can be extraordinary and get what you want? We all win. You can connect with Mariska on her website,</a or on Facebook.

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  • Truth paradise

    at 7:44 pm

    We can talk about self love and share our beliefs and ideas about self love but when we face our daily experience, we are facing whatever is arising in the moment. When we can accept our self, our moment to moment experience and allow it to be what it is, share it, express it, show it and own it, we realize its just an experience of thought, emotions, sensations that are flowing through us in the moment and if we watch it, observe it and accept it, we realize its just an experience and does not define who we are and is just a momentary experience. I find that sharing these experiences with someone I trust allows it to be out in the open and allows me to see it openly without the usual hiding and denying what is really going on inside.

  • Liz

    at 6:40 pm

    Profoundly simple. Thank you! x

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