The 13 Traps of Wanting Approval

Wanting approval comes from a feeling of lack – I don’t have what I want and I need to cling onto something or someone in order to feel loved and whole. And unfortunately, that’s what the majority of people call, ‘love’.” ~ Luminita D. Saviuc

There is a deep wound in all of us that is in desperate need of healing. And this wound comes from this false belief that we are separate from that Deep Love we all long to experience and that Deep Connection we are all need to feel.

But we can heal this deep wound by making a conscious decision to no longer fall for the many lies and limitations Wanting Approval has to offer. In doing so, we can start the healing process and we can finally Become the Infinite and Unlimited Beings that we were always destined to Be.

Hope you’ll join me:)

The 13 Traps of Wanting Approval

1. Wanting Approval Blinds You

The more you focus on getting people’s approval and being validated by them, the less you can see people for who they truly are – what their words and actions are really all about. And that is a sure way to get hurt. 

2. Wanting Approval Makes it Easy For Others to Take Advantage of You

When you want people’s approval, you let them take advantage of you. You allow them to treat you. not the way you truly deserve to be treated, but the way they think you deserve to be treated. And that is why chasing after people’s approval is a trap. 

3. Wanting Approval Creates Room for Abuse

Wanting approval is a sure way to be abused – mentally, emotionally, and spiritually- by the people whose approval and validation you are so desperately seeking for. And if you don’t believe this to be true, just take a closer look at the unhealthy relationships you had in the past, and the Truth will reveal itself to you. 

4. Wanting Approval Makes You the Victim of Needless Suffering.

You are a Human Being who deserves to be treated with Dignity, Love, and Respect. But as long as you will continue to look for love, validation, affection, and approval – Out there, you will continue to be the victim of needless suffering.

5. Wanting Approval Makes You Feel Small, Unworthy & Insignificant

I know you were programmed from a young age to believe that you are a small and insignificant being who needs to run around begging and chasing for the love and approval of those around you. But I am here to tell you that you are not small, and you are not insignificant!

You are an Infinite Being – created in the image and likeness of God, and the Love, Joy, and Fulfillment you so desperately seek Outside yourself, is already Within You!

6. Wanting Approval Keeps Us From Knowing the Truth

By Looking Outside yourself for that which you think is missing from Within yourself, you fail to Know the Truth of who you are, and you fail to recognize that your Real Value and True Worth come from Within your Self, and not from what other people might say, or think about you. 

7. Wanting Approval Makes You Feel Like You’re Never Enough

The more you will look Out there for that which you think is missing from Within yourself, the more you will continue to feel like you’re not enough – good enough, worthy enough, lovable enough, etc.. And no matter how much love, validation, and approval you will get from others, it will never be enough. It will never fulfill you.

8. Wanting Approval Infuses your Life with Guilt & Shame

When deep down inside you know your Real Value and you know your True Worth, but for some strange reason you continue to think, talk, and act as though you are small and insignificant,  you can’t help but feel guilty and ashamed – not honoring your Truth can do that to you. 

9. Wanting Approval Creates Suffering

When the love and approval you need and desire is always Out there and never In you, you can’t help but suffer.

10. Wanting Approval Creates a False Sense of Separation

Wanting approval creates a false sense of separation – between you and that which you are seeking – love and approval.


You want the things you think are missing from your life. And in that wanting, you fail to recognize that you are already Whole and Complete and that the pain you are now feeling comes from thinking otherwise. 

11. Wanting Approval Causes You to Face the Wrong Direction

Wanting approval causes you to look Outside yourself for that which you think is missing from Within yourself. But if Love is the Source of all things, and if you were created in the image and likeness of Love, aren’t YOU the Love that you are seeking? 

12. Wanting Approval Makes You Feel Unloved

Since Wanting = Not Having, the more you WANT to be seen, loved, and approved by others, the more alone, unworthy, and unloved you will continue to feel.

That’s the irony of Wanting – the more you Want something, the more you distance yourself from it by thinking that you don’t have it – the more you continue to think that you are separate from it, the harder you will try to get it and the farther away from it you will seem to get.

13. Wanting Approval Takes the Life Out of Your Life

Looking for love and approval in all the wrong directions – in people, places, experiences, and things – is a waste of time and energy. 

You don’t need to waste your life looking for something that you already are – Whole, Worthy Love, and Complete.

Look within yourself for Truth and Guidance. 

Ask all from your Self. Ask all from your Truth and Inner Being. And in so doing, you will realize that you already are that Deep Love you have been seeking for –  you have always been, and you will always be. 

You are All That!

~love, Luminita💫

And you? When will you stop seeking for love and approval Out there and start looking for them Within your Self?


Luminita D. Saviuc

Luminita is the Founder and Editor in Chief of and also the author of 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy: An Inspiring Guide to Discovering Effortless Joy. For more details check out the 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Book Page.

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