The 5 Steps to Feeling More Confident

Confident people are not sheep, and they do not conform to what the majority are doing. The opposite of bravery is not cowardice but conformity. What separates mediocre people from extraordinary people is their level of confidence.

What does it take to feel confident again?

Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.

We know what we are but not what we may be.” – Shakespeare

Until you get rid of your guilt feelings and stop criticizing yourself for your perceived limitations, you will forever remain apart from achieving complete confidence in yourself.

The 5 Steps to Feeling More Confident

An outward change in your confidence will come after you make an internal change in your thinking.

1. Take Care of Yourself First

Confident people make themselves a priority before anyone else. Making yourself a priority may seem selfish, but it is essential for your well-being. Many people believe they have to take care of everyone else first and themselves second. To become a confident person you have to take care of your needs first.

You have to take time each day to connect with yourself and discover what is truly important. 

  • Do you say ‘yes,’ to people when you want to say ‘no.’ 
  • Are you burning the candles at both ends when you should take time out to rest and recharge? 
  • Are you constantly seeking approval from other people?

Starting today, make yourself a priority and allow yourself the love and care that you give to others. Your primary purpose is tending to your emotional and physical well-being.

2. Know your Worth

A truly confident person knows their worth, and they never settle for anything less than what they truly want. If you allow yourself to settle for things you don’t want, you will be telling yourself that settling is okay. Don’t do this.

You were born to ‘create’ and not to ‘compete’ with others. Every time you compare yourself to another person, you are generating fear in yourself. Fear is not a good energy for creating your reality because it is based on a false premise. 

The false premise is that you are not enough as you are. The truth is you cannot be more than who you are on the physical level – with the exception of gainning weight or getting taller.

Yes, you do need to improve yourself, but most improvement is a matter of removing and replacing thoughts and habits.

No amount of degrees, fancy cars, trophies, or praise can make you more than who you are. You can experience more by expanding your consciousness by being open to new ideas and new experiences. As I mentioned before, confidence is an inside job.

Always remember, you need to be ‘for yourself’ and ‘not against’ someone else. Remember, you are a worthy and unique personality as you are.

3. Disconnect From Past Thinking

The past is not where you are going, so there is no sense in looking back. Yes, you can reminisce about fun times in the past, but to be more confident, you need to imagine and create a compelling future. The only way to do this is to create a confident now.

Dr. Joe Dispenza states every thought we have creates a neural network pattern. The challenge most people have is their mind patterns are anchored to the past. You cannot create a new future if you are connected to your past.

The key is to have new, empowering thoughts for a preferred future. By doing this, you create new neural network patterns that will create a new future.

If you want to lose weight as an example, but the idea of change frightens you, you will never lose weight. However, if you create neural network patterns of joy and excitement to losing weight, it will be effortless to create the change.

4. Build Your Self-Reliance

To be more confident, you must be self-reliant. Self-reliant people don’t often look outside of themselves every time a challenge occurs. Being able to stand on your own means you won’t have to depend on, conform to or manipulate others to get what you want. Self-reliance and confidence go hand in hand.

Many people have the mistaken belief that other people are smarter than them and believe and act that other people will solve all their problems. Yes, there are times when you do need to rely on others like auto or home maintenance issues that you can’t perform yourself. 

Generally speaking, you need the freedom of self-reliance so you don’t have to worry about others letting you down.

5. Ability to Tolerate Uncertainty

Confident people can tolerate the feeling of uncertainty when reaching for a goal or trying something new. For most, this feeling of uncertainty causes them to abandon their goals and dreams and instead settle for a life of mediocrity.

Life is uncertain, this is a fact, and we cannot control every aspect of our lives. One skill that confident people have mastered is their ability to handle feelings of uncertainty. 

Mastering uncertainty is a skill like anything else, so with practice and repetition, it can become easier. Start with something small like going to a movie with your significant other without knowing what the movie will be.

Be Confident

Being confident allows you to be who you truly are. Too many people are living lives that other people believe they should live. You were created to be a unique individual and to express yourself in the world.

You don’t need to ‘prove’ yourself to anyone but yourself.

Choose ‘me time’ each day to ‘feel out’ the next direction you want to go in life. Then take confident action towards your goals and don’t stop until you achieve them.


Justin Mazza

Justin is a personal growth blogger at He began his personal development journey in 1997 and shares his insights on his blog. Please stop by and check out the archives section.

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