Are you holding onto something that needs to go? Is your clinging and attachment keeping you from fully living life, loving all and being free?

Holding Onto Something That Needs to Go?

When the great Dr. Leo Buscaglia’s mother was on her deathbed, Leo stood by her side holding her hand and loving her through it all. 

With tears rolling down his face and great pain in his heart, he kept begging her not to go – even though the doctors told him it was of no use talking to her since she couldn’t hear him.

Being the passionate and loving man he always was, he did not pay attention to the doctor’s words. Nor did he believe them. He knew his mother loved him more than anything in the world and that she could hear him. 

And he was right. 

As he was sitting there, immersed in his pain and agony, holding his mother’s hand and asking her not to leave him, he heard her soft voice utter these last words:

What are you holding onto, Felice? (That was his Italian name, which means Happy)

What are you holding onto?

At that exact moment, Felice received a wake up call!

His eyes opened and he finally realized what his loving mother already knew: that his clinging was actually keeping her love from reaching him; that the love they had for one another was not bound by time and space, and that just because she was about to depart this physical world, it did not mean she was going to leave him forever.

“Perhaps the deepest reason why we are afraid of death is because we do not know who we are. We believe in a personal, unique, and separate identity — but if we dare to examine it, we find that this identity depends entirely on an endless collection of things to prop it up: our name, our “biography,” our partners, family, home, job, friends, credit cards… It is on their fragile and transient support that we rely for our security.” ~ Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

And you, what are you holding onto?

We often hold onto people, places and experiences because we believe that our grasping and attachment is proof of great love. And that if we let go, it means that we have given up on them, on ourselves and on our love. But that is rarely the case. As Maya Angelou once said it so beautifully, 

“Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that’s ego. Love liberates. It doesn’t bind. Love says, ‘I love you. I love you if you’re in China. I love you if you’re across town. I love you if you’re in Harlem. I love you. I would like to be near you. I’d like to have your arms around me. I’d like to hear your voice in my ear. But that’s not possible now, so I love you. Go.” ~ Maya Angelou

Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that’s ego. Love liberates. It doesn’t bind. 

Love says, ‘I love you. I love you if you’re in China. I love you if you’re across town. I love you if you’re in Harlem. I love you. 

I would like to be near you. I’d like to have your arms around me. I’d like to hear your voice in my ear. But that’s not possible now, so I love you. Go.

Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that’s ego. Love liberates. Because love knows that just as a bird needs to be free in order to fly wherever it pleases and feel alive, so too love needs to be liberated in order to be felt and give life to those it loves.

You don’t let go because you don’t love. You let go because you love. That’s what love does. Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that’s ego. Love liberates. It doesn’t bind. When love is mistaken with attachment, we hold on. But when love is cleansed and purified of all attachments, we let go.

What are you holding onto?

What are you holding onto?

This question was a wake up call for Leo who, in that moment realized how foolish it was of him to think that his mother was just a physical body and that her body passing away was the end of it all. 

And I hope it is a wake up call for you as well, helping you to realize that life is not about grasping, clinging and being attached to things. But rather about letting go, loving life and being free.  

What about you? Are you holding onto something you need to let go? Is your clinging and attachment keeping you from living life fully, loving all and being free? You can share below 🙂

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