“The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dealing with Negative People

After years and years of observation and self-reflection, I came to the realization that the best way to face life’s challenges is to take a good look at yourself, assume responsibility for whatever it is that you are thinking, feeling and living.

“If you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit

For example, if you are interacting with negative people and these are people you have to deal with on a regular basis – like a friend, spouse, a family member or someone you work with, you should never allow their negativity to affect you and what’s most important, you should never blame them if it does.

Never give your power away by blaming others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel.

The moment you do, you become a victim of your circumstances and instead of using your time and energy to overcome life’s challenges, you will get lost in the problems and you will get stuck in a really dark and unhappy place for a very long time.

Today I want to share with you 9 clever ways to deal with the negativity that comes your way from those you love and care about in a more positive and effective way.

9 Clever Ways to Deal with Negative People

1. Ownership.

Go from being a victim, from blaming, judging and criticizing to assuming full responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings. Take a different approach to how you deal with their negativity.

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”  ~Carl Jung

Don’t say:  They are draining my energy; they are making me unhappy; their negative energy is polluting my mind, my body and my life, but rather…

Say: How can I use this situation to my advantage? What am I doing wrong? How can I improve this situation? How can I make my positive energy bigger than their negative energy? How can I heal this situation, myself and the people involved? What can I learn from all of this?

2. Like attracts like.

Like attracts like and whether we like it or not, we attract in our lives people, events, situations that mirror our internal state of being.

How are you feeling on a regular basis? Are you feeling happy, excited, grateful, loving or are you feeling cranky, judgmental, negative, and frustrated?

I had a period when I was projecting my own unhappiness on to those around me and because of that, all I could see was mean and unhappy people. Funny thing, the moment I recovered, the moment I shifted from unhappy to happy, they changed too 🙂

“Like attracts like. It’ll surprise you as long as you live.” ~Richard Bach

3. Don’t take your thoughts too seriously.

Don’t believe everything you think,  one of the most powerful lessons I have learned from life.

Take a closer look at the negative people that are present in your life.

What is it about them that triggers you?  

What is it about them that affects you so badly?

Are the things they are doing really that bad or is it your mind playing tricks on you? 

The mind is constantly looking for trouble and once you focus on the negative traits of one person, it will be quite challenging to see their positive traits, but that doesn’t mean the positive traits don’t exist.

4. Shift your focus.

Ask yourself: Am I willing to find something positive about these people?

Am I willing to see the good qualities in them?


Let the answers come naturally and make sure you are being honest with yourself.

If you feel like you aren’t ready to change the way you look at them, don’t judge yourself for feeling the way you do.

It’s okay if you don’t want to do it right away.

Be gentle and patient with yourself and trust that when the time will be right, you will make this step.

“It’s so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to.” ~Annie Gottlier

5. Don’t make their problems your problems.

For your own sake and theirs, make sure you don’t make their problems your problems and make sure you don’t make their negativity your own.

If you want to shed light into the dark, you focus on the solutions, not on the problems.

6. Let go of your need to complain.

Make sure you take responsibility for your own emotions and state of being.

Please, don’t go around complaining about how much their negativity is affecting you for this will only create more negativity.

Assume responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings and see what YOU can do to feel better, what YOU can do to change the current situation by changing your lenses, by changing your attitude and the way you look at things.

“He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts.” ~Samuel Johnson

7. Raise your positive energy

Energy is contagious and focusing on the negative energy of others won’t create any positivity. On the contrary, it will only create more negativity.

Focus on raising your positive energy and watch the negativity disappear.

How do you raise your positive energy?

By focusing more and more on the things you love about these people that behave in negative ways, by focusing on the things you love about yourself, your life and the world around you.

You do so by thinking of someone you love deeply, by thinking about some of the things you are really passionate about and by doing so you immediately raise your positive energy.

You did an awesome job increasing the negative energy by focusing on the things you dislike, talking about them over and over again and now it’s time to apply the same technique to increase your positive energy.

You can’t have negative and positive energy coexist.  You focus on one or the other and based on that you will feel happy or unhappy. It’s that simple.

8. Be the change you want to see in your world.

Trust me when I tell you that this world is nothing more than a reflection of who we are deep down inside.

Seek to feel good. Live life in a positive, cheerful, loving and happy way and trust that by doing so, all the negative people that are present in your life will be affected by your feel good energy.

You can’t change others, you can only change yourself and by doing so you will change the whole world.  Dwell upon this idea until it makes sense to you and start working on changing the world by changing yourself 🙂

When I am happy, the whole world seems to be happy, when I am sad, sadness is all I see.

Trust that those who are meant to stay in your life will stay and learn from you and you will learn from them as long as they are still there. And those who are meant to leave will leave.

Learn to go with the flow. Resist nothing.

“Never underestimate your power to change yourself; never overestimate your power to change others.” ~ Wayne W. Dyer

9. Simultaneous awareness.

Work on understanding the duality of life and learn to accept both the negative and the positive traits in people.

Don’t condemn their negativity, don’t judge it and don’t resist it. Allow it to be. Observe and accept it.

Remember, your world is nothing more than a reflection of who you are on the inside.

“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.” ~ Carl Jung

Own your thoughts, own your emotions, own your life!

No matter how many challenges you will face in life and no matter how many negative and difficult people you will have to deal with it is always better to take a look at what you could do better instead of pointing out what they are doing wrong.

Never give your power away by blaming outside circumstances for your internal state of being.

Make the inside pure, make the fountain pure, and all will be pure 🙂

~love, Luminita💫


Luminita D. Saviuc

Luminita is the Founder and Editor in Chief of PurposeFairy.com and also the author of 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy: An Inspiring Guide to Discovering Effortless Joy. For more details check out the 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Book Page.

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